I swear to god
When I get proposed to
I’m going to ask
"Why do you wanna marry me anyhow?"
And if the answer isn’t
"So I can kiss you anytime I want"
I’m saying no. Plain an simple
Melanie: Jake! You dumb, stubborn, redneck hick. The only reason you won’t sign these papers is because I want you to.
Jake: Wrong! The only reason I ain’t signing is ‘cuz you’ve turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch, and I’d like nothing better right now than to piss you off.
Whyyyyy do I always watch this on cable when I own it? Especially when it’s on every other day? Oh, right…because it’s ADORABLE! What’s better than Felony Melanie and an oil-covered, slang-barking Jake Perry? Nothing. That’s right, NOTHING.